During all the conversations Mark (my younger brother) and I ever had, I was talking non-stop and he was nodding. He never really participated in the conversation; it was kind of like thinking, except saying it out loud to someone else. I think the cruelty was much harder on Mark than it was on me (if that is possible). He was more severely traumatized by it and has suffered depression all of his life. He was a sweet, sensitive child that did not deserve to be mistreated. The abuse seriously affected our self-worth.
I think it could have caused depression in me as well, but I found anger a much more useful emotion than depression. Anger motivated me. It was not an all-time destructive and negative state worthy of suppression. My anger framed a positive force that fueled my ambitions and my creativity. Anger moved me toward what I wanted. Anger fueled my optimism, creative brainstorming, and problem-solving by focusing my mind and my moods in highly refined ways. Anger is the polar opposite of fear, sadness, disgust, and anxiety—feelings that prompted avoidance and solitude. When I got mad, it propelled me toward challenges I may have otherwise fled.
Words of Wisdom: Don’t get sad, get mad! Anger motivates and gets things done. Sometimes, it’s delightful to be furiously angry and furiously successful. Depression often lays around and does nothing.
To continue reading about my abusive childhood in my first book, a memoir based on overcoming my abusive past, poverty, and cancer. Click HERE for more information.
Check out my abuse victim resources page for more information about abuse, including warning signs and how to get help HERE
Follow me on Instagram for the latest updates on my books and documentary HERE